We’re in the midst of a seemingly never-ending period of political turmoil, and people are hungry for solutions. There’s long been a hunt for a charismatic figure who can unite the left and right, a man (let’s be honest, it’d never be a woman) of such charm and appeal that he could cross the political aisle and fix the chronically broken system for the good of all god-fearing Americans. It’s an alluring prospect, of course, and seems like far less hassle than trying to detangle centuries’ of corruption and discriminatory laws. But who could get the job done? For a surprising number of people, the answer is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
For several years now, a near-mythic narrative has formed around the mega-star that has positioned him not only as someone who could run for president but someone who should. This was no mere meme. In 2021, the 51-year-old Fast and Furious star was the subject of a political poll, in which 46 percent of those queried said they would support his campaign for the White House (Johnson responded that the data was “humbling.”) A 2017 GQ profile of the actor, titled “Dwayne Johnson for President!”, saw him admit he’d seriously considered a run.
Apparently, D.C. took note of this too. In a recent interview with Trevor Noah on his new podcast, "What Now?", Johnson said that “at the end of the year in 2022, I got a visit from the parties asking me if I was going to run, and if I could run [...] It was one after the other, and they brought up that poll, and they also brought up their own deep-dive research that would prove that should I ever go down that road [I’d be a real contender]. It was all very surreal because that’s never been my goal. My goal has never been to be in politics. As a matter of fact, there’s a lot about politics that I hate.”
The appeal of his candidacy is evident. Everyone likes Dwayne Johnson, right? He’s one of those rare celebrities who is universally liked, regardless of demographic or political alignment. Put him on the pedestal with Dolly Parton and Keanu Reeves, both of whom have retained their allure and been blessed as “unproblematic faves” who liberals and conservatives alike can celebrate. And Johnson is certainly easy to like, as a hard-working and ambitious, multi-talented businessman who supports good causes and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Many would rally behind a Polynesian-American multi-millionaire who found out about Bin Laden’s death before the rest of the world and could crush a watermelon between his thighs like a beer can.
Yet the issue is also glaring, and it’s kind of surprising that the elephant in the room isn’t noted more often when the “Dwayne for President” hype kicks off: The reason we want him to run for president would end the moment he actually decided to do so.
The easiest way to maintain your universal allure is to not say anything that could be divisive. That’s a very long list of stuff to avoid. Liking the wrong Instagram post can inspire a flurry of social media anger and slew of clickbait headlines. Endorsing any politician will undoubtedly put off a substantial part of your fanbase, regardless of your intentions or the policies of the candidate. As we’ve seen many times over the decades, being truly political can be dangerous for a celebrity’s image. Just ask Jane Fonda or Vanessa Redgrave, whose consistent left-wing activism has led to them being seen as treacherous by right-wingers, many of whom still refer to Fonda as “Hanoi Jane.” Hell, people are mad at Dolly for collaborating with Kid Rock and going on about cancel culture, and she’s meant to be untouchable. Why would anyone want to give that up?
We know nothing about Johnson’s politics because he’s always kept his cards close to his chest on this topic. As the GQ profile mentioned, Johnson told both the Trump and Clinton camps that he wasn’t making an endorsement during the 2016 election. When asked about Donald Trump’s aptitude as president, he gave an extremely diplomatic answer that criticized the Muslim ban but mostly focused on his lack of poise and leadership. He later confessed to Rolling Stone that he didn’t even vote in 2016, lamenting both candidates and declaring, “I just felt like it was either vote for the [candidate] I thought would make a better president than the other, even though I would rather have someone else, or not vote at all.”
These are all perfectly anodyne answers designed to piss off as few people as possible, and even then, actually taking a stance on Trump’s brief travel ban from certain countries was too much for some. Yet the attempt to be the middle ground, to be somewhat apolitical, is in and of itself a political declaration. It’s tough to claim that you sat out the 2016 election because neither candidate satisfied you when one of them was Donald effing Trump. This is the stuff you say when you’re a celebrity, but running any kind of presidential platform on a buzzword-heavy cycle of comments about finding common ground will never fly. The moment Johnson has to offer any kind of policy, from taxes to gun control to trans rights to the war in Gaza, it all comes crumbling down. All those impressive polling numbers will sink like a stone in a lake within seconds. This is real politics.
The harried aides looking at wonky polling data over the prospect of President Rock don’t want Johnson to be a politician. They want him to be a mascot, to embody a falsehood that all we need to succeed in life is the right figurehead who looks good in a suit (preferably without sleeves) and says encouraging things on Instagram. They see him as a president who would drive cars across the rose garden and get Ryan Reynolds to be his sassy Press Secretary, not the bureaucrat who has to negotiate with alt-right bullies and find a way to veto the cancellation of student loans as a tough but noble choice.
America is still wedded to the belief that the most powerful person in the world should be a folksy dude who you can have a beer with, and chasing that dream has led to a hell of a lot of bad politicians. Can’t The Rock just be The Rock? He’s an action star who makes us happy and does an impeccable job at entertaining the world. We could use a few more of those right now. Leave the White House to someone who actually has something to stand for.
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